I'm a fat cow.... but I just wanna be a skinny cow

 

 

So this is the blog post that I have been dreading to write.  Actually, I am crying as I write it.  I went to the gym, and got weighed.  (Insert Star Wars Emperor music) I did EVERYTHING I could to not cry right there.  The guy at the gym was so nice too.  He could see how upset I was.  He kept re-assuring me it was ok.  He said the time of day can alter weight up to 5lbs.  and not that ANYONE needs to know this, but my lady time is starting and that will add weight (water weight)  So on here I will reveal my weight and then take 5lbs off for the above mentioned things.


Starting weight                182lbs - 5lbs new starting weight is 177lbs
height                               5'9"
BMI                                 26.1% overweight


I know most normal women are in the mid to high 20's.  I also know that even if I lose fat weight, and put on muscule weight, my BMI could still say overweight.  The BMI is a flawed system, as it ONLY takes weight and height into consideration, not fat vs. muscule.  BUT having said that, I am still balling my eyes out right now.  This ISN'T where I want to be starting, but it is a start.....

 

 

 

But NONE of this is making me feel better.  NONE of this is making me want to get off the couch, it's just making me want to eat food, the ONE comfort I seem to have left in my life.  3 more days of Diet Coke, 3 more days of eating all the food I can no longer eat, 3 more days until I kill myself trying to lose my goal of 40lbs......

 

 

That's right, 40lbs.  Holy shit, that's like losing a small child!!!!

 

3 more days until I go to gym EVERY day, 3 more days until I run 3 times a week, 3 more days until I start Primal Blueprint diet plan.  3 more days and LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS OVER (insert the Star Wars music again)

 

I know I'm not fat, I am overweight though, regardless of what the above chart states.  I feel it, I see it, I know it.  BUT, when I look in the mirror, I just see a fat cow.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

(actually that's a normal sized cow) but a cow nonetheless.  This is what I see.  It's like those stupid things you see on Facebook, this is what society thinks I do, this is what my family thinks I do, blah blah blah.....  I know this is going to be hard ass work, work I am NOT used too.  I am used to Couchland, and being lazy, making excuses.  3 more days and the EXCUSES STOP!!!!!!

 

 

In 3 days, I wanna start looking in the mirror, and seeing a skinny cow..... Still a cow, but at least a skinny cow.

 

 

 

 

 

I said I was going to run this half marathon, and I will.  In all honesty, I am doing it so my parents would be proud of me.  WRONG reason to run 21.1kms, but I'm going to do it regardless.  In the end it is I who will be proud of myself.  Once the training starts, and the diet starts, and the comforts I have grown to love stop, I know that I will look like the skinny cow I know is in me somewhere.....

 

 

Thank you to all for reading my story, and as you can gather from this post, it's FAR from over.  Thank you for all your love and support, you know who you are.  2013, you'd better watch out, cuz I'm coming to KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for the language)